Blood, Sweat, and Tears

I contributed all three of these liquids this past week, already pouring what feels like everything I have into my job.  The temperature in my classroom is way too warm and musty, making for uncomfortable afternoons and poor, complaining, melting students.  Throughout the week there have probably been about 90 sheets of paper used by students to create makeshift fans and I, myself, have walked around the room fanning them with papers while I read to them.  We've been doing our best to sweat it out and ignore the irony of it actually being cold outside.

On Tuesday I discovered one of my fingers was all bloody and I had no idea where the cut came from nor time to properly take care of it.  I actually used it to my benefit when a student later asked to go to the nurse showing me a tiny scratch next to his fingernail.  I held up my finger that still had evidence of blood all around the nail and said, "Oh c'mon Danny, if I'm going to be ok, I think you'll be ok."  His eyes got big and we both half laughed as he sat back down knowing he wasn't about to get out of the classroom.

And there were definitely a couple different nights when I let the emotional part of the job weigh on me and resorted myself to crying.  I realized more this week as I get to know the students better how my heart breaks for them and their various situations.  These 9-year-olds, for one thing, are exposed to way too many worldly things.  That much is obvious in their words and actions.  It makes me hate the media and the ease of access to inappropriate content.  Someone needs to shield these babies!

Of course, I am not the only crier.  I'm not sure if I can count how many different students I have seen shed some tears...I am doing what I can to discourage mean behavior!  Oddly enough I have witnessed more boys crying than girls, but that might have something to do with the fact that they have been getting into more trouble.  Nothing makes a student cry like a trip to the office and a phone call to the parents.

Yes, this has been a rough week and I have a rough group of kids who, sadly, are not so easy to trust.  The one encouraging aspect of the whole situation is that I find I can truly love my students in spite of anything they say or do.  It's a confirmation that I am in the right field and can hold the right amount of patience and grace for these kiddos.  In the end, they all just need somebody to love them.