Laying Down the Law

It's time to get serious about learning in my classroom...and this means that I really need to start laying down the law.  I told my classes this week that I had been giving them a lot of grace, but that this far into the semester I shouldn't have to keep telling them what they are supposed to be doing everyday.  They know the routines, and now I am holding them accountable.

It's very interesting how my two classes respond in very different ways.  My second group of the day really gets it when I give them warnings and will keep their behavior in check, whereas my homeroom is just full of trouble. I love them dearly, but they don't seem to understand quite yet that there will be consequences when they make poor decisions.  They appear so shocked and have that lost baby dear look in their eyes as they try to win my sympathy in hopes of escaping consequences.  I can't tell you how much it hurts to have to get onto them all the time and write them up as needed, but they will never learn otherwise.  I am keeping my expectations high and, like I said, really laying down the law.

Tuesday was the day soooo many of them got into trouble.  I had to write up seven students just in my homeroom, and then only one in the afternoon.  Even though it was a rough day, it was very well under control.  I did not feel overly exhausted at the end of it because the discipline problems were dealt with abruptly and swiftly.

When Wednesday rolled around, I'm not even sure what it was that happened - one of those things where I can't pinpoint the actual problem - but my students were, as the teacher next door put it, "having an initial backlash".  The day was very difficult - quite horrible actually - and I felt very VERY defeated.  I hit the point where I had to fight back tears stinging my eyes while my students were still in the room.  Whoooaa...not ok.

My team lead gave me a pep talk at the end of the day, which was just what I needed.  I am so thankful for her.  She laid out the cold, hard truth of what no one in the school is admitting: the charter has changed over the past few years, and we have collected a large group of inner city kids and discipline problems from other schools.  At least someone was being real with me and not trying to create the illusion that we have a group so focused on character.  What she said makes a lot more sense.  You have to know the students you're reaching.

I left school that day not getting into my car and crying but rather feeling like I had become stronger through such a horrible experience.  My attitude was to "get my game face on" and come in the next day not backing down with my expectations.  I do show my kids I love them every chance I get, but this special group that I have is practically begging for more structure and boundaries, making them more rough than any bunch of 4th graders I've witnessed before.  I find myself growing stronger and more prepared to face the most wild situations.  Oddly enough, in spite of the tears and the rage I have seen in my students' eyes as their actions cause them to get in trouble with me, by the end of this week, more of them were giving me hugs.  It almost threw me off to get such a response in the midst of all the glares I was starting to get as well, but that just proves children need and want boundaries!  I really wish all parents knew that.

This new week will be starting with 4 detentions, 2 suspensions, and a lot of room for growth.  However, I still enjoy chatting with them, joking around with them, and laughing when the circumstances allow.  I love them, and I pray to God they know they are loved.